총 게시물 511건, 최근 2 건

The Clumsy Love

글쓴이 : 관리자 날짜 : 2018-06-18 (월) 06:50 조회 : 205
설교일 : 2018.06.17
설교자 : Rev. Kyung Lim Shin
본문말씀 : 1 John 4:7-12

June 17, 2018

 

The Clumsy Love

1 John 4:7-12

 

Rev. Kyung Lim Shin’s sermon at the KUMC of Metro Detroit

 

 

A few years ago, after reading a gift book from a friend of mine, I was deeply moved by the book, which was “A journal: How to bring up spotted woodpecker babies”. This journal was the daily progress reports and photos by a scientist witness for 50 days from the first moment of a woodpecker couple starting to build their nest.

 

To build their nest, the male and female woodpeckers took turns in boring a hole in the tree trunk using their beaks. The speed of their pecking was 20 times per second and each woodpecker continued to peck for 30-40 minutes nonstop, that means 36,000 to 48,000 times each shift, and the debris were removed by their beaks. This scientist observed them pecking for 8 days from morning till evening to excavate a hole and was impressed by their careful selection of the tree, the location and direction of their nest to make it a safe refuge. He noticed that after the nest hole became big enough, the woodpeckers also smoothed the inside with their beaks.

 

To hatch their eggs, the male and female took turns sitting on them, each had three shifts, but at night it was always the papa who sat on the eggs until the mama came back in the morning and he had removed all his feathers on his chest and tummy so that his bare skin could give more warmth to the eggs. On the 24thday of observation, he realized the babies were born after seeing the mama and papa woodpeckers enter their nest with baby worms in their beaks. For the next several days, the parents were bringing tiny worms to their babies every 1 or 2 minutes, then they began to bring bigger worms at longer intervals. The bowel movements were removed by the parents and discarded at a distance far enough to prevent their natural enemies from attacking the babies. If attacked, the parents fought hard to keep babies safe. At night, the papa kept vigil in the nest as before. Even when it was raining hard, the mama and papa still managed to bring them food. After a while, the parents began to train their two babies to leave the nest; soon one baby left the nest, and the other did the same. But, they left while the papa had gone to get some more food for them. Not knowing they had left home, the papa went searching for them everywhere, while holding their food in his beak, and his search went on for more than 4 hours. In the end, the papa also left the nest, still holding the food for the babies in his beak.

 

We don’t think much of the brains of the birds and we call those people with low IQs as ‘bird-brain’. After reading about their dedication, responsibility and affection for their babies, I now have respect for them.

 

While reading this book about the woodpeckers, I thought about all the fathers in the world who take on any jobs, sometimes risking their lives, to provide for their children. Unlike the Mother’s Day when the mothers had their corsages pinned on their chests, on the Father’s Day, I hear that at this church not much has been done to show the appreciation for the fathers, except serving some donuts for lunch. We should be as appreciative of the Father’s love as the Mother’s love. Happy Father’s Day today!

 

For myself, I have always felt that my father was an exception; not only he never brought in enough money, but he squandered all the money a few times, resulting in our having to move to smaller quarters suddenly. He abused my mother for going to church and spent his time and money in drinking. In my childhood, what I hated the most was looking for him at a drinking house to make sure he came home without causing any serious accidents. I hated this job more when I was in Middle and High Schools, so I had no affection for my father.

 

While reading this book about the amazing love of the woodpeckers for their offspring, an idea suddenly sprang up in my mind; perhaps my father loved and cared for me as much as these woodpeckers did. Then, I was reminded of the time when I had been sick as a child and he carried me on his back and ran to the hospital. And I remember hearing afterwards that he kept asking someone to open the door on his last day because he believed I had come back to him. He must have wanted to see me one more time, even though he knew that I had hated him.

 

I didn’t give him any credit for his love for his family, but perhaps he didn’t know how to love us in the right way. His actions had hurt my mother and me so much that we had only hatred for him. Subsequently, knowing that we didn’t have any love for him, he might have indulged in drinking to forget the pain and misery, which in turn drove us farther from him. More drinking brought out more violent actions and words from him.

 

Was he the only one that didn’t know how to love? Most of the Korean men of his generation had not been taught the right way of expressing their love. In the traditional Confucian society, many fathers kept on hurting their families throughout their lives without intending to hurt them.

 

But, this situation of not knowing how to love is still quite prevalent today and sadly even more so now than ever in all kinds of relationships. Those who have been hurt by their parents repeat the same mistakes and then, experience the same hurts and broken relationships. How should we remedy this tragic situation?

 

Why can’t we just love those people in our lives we want to love? What is the problem here? Our hatred may be the cause, but our misunderstanding of them makes it very difficult for us to love them. In our relationship with God, if we don’t know Him, it is very difficult to love Him. On the other hand, if we know God, it is very easy for us to love Him.

 

Today’s passage is: “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” (1 John 4:7-8)

 

If we can’t love adequately, we should try our best to get to know God. Let us remember that “God is love.” As God Himself is love, when we know God, we will know how to love. Therefore, let us learn more about God and how God loves us. And let us learn what God wants us to do. We should never forget our Lord’s commandment for us; “Love your neighbor as yourself.” He has given us the best example by sacrificing His life for us, and we should follow in His footsteps and love our neighbors.

 

The second problem is that our ignorance about others may hamper our love for them. What we think we know about others may not be the right information. Here is a quiz; Who has easier time getting up for Early Morning Prayer services, is it the one with lots of hair, or the one with almost no hair? Another quiz; Between a tall person and a short person, whose head gets bumped more often? We have to acknowledge that our knowledge is very limited. I never knew that those spotted woodpeckers take such a good care of their babies with so much affection. The fact that we were not aware of their love does not mean there was no love. For example, let us think about the case of Joseph, the father of Jesus. In the Bible, Mary, the mother of Jesus, is mentioned, but there is no mention of Joseph, so we don’t know where he was when Jesus was crucified. But that does not mean Joseph didn’t love Jesus any less. Perhaps, he could have felt as much pain as Mary, but being a traditional Jewish man, he couldn’t show any emotions. Or, he couldn’t handle such enormous pain that he might have gone into hiding and eased the pain by drinking a lot. Let us acknowledge that we do not know everything and that we may have judged others incorrectly. Let us forgive others who have hurt us because they may have not known how to love. Let us give the benefit of doubt and forgive those who have wronged us. When we forgive others, God will heal our hurts and our pains. By forgiving others, we will gain the true love.

 

The problem is that we do not know exactly how to love others. How can we love others without hurting them and without getting adverse reactions? I want to suggest two things.

 

1)  Let us give the love the other person wants to receive, not the love we want to give. If you give the love you want to give, you may be hurting the person. Let us meditate seriously upon the love of the papa woodpecker who was searching for his babies for 4 hours while holding the food for them in his beak. We have to find out what our children really want or need, instead of just assuming, as our judgment and knowledge may be outdated.

 

As we cannot even figure out easily what our own children want, how can we figure out what other people want? We should not give love in the way we want to give love but give love in the way the others want to receive.

 

The motto at our home should be: “We should be happy together!!”

I have been guilty of declaring at times that “I cannot do that, I was not born that way!”, and that is a wrong thing to say. If you love someone, you have to adjust yourself to suit the wishes of that person. We should not force our love on another person and make sure that we don’t inflict pain on that person in the name of love.

 

2)  Let us love without expecting anything in return. Are you really expecting nothing from your children? You want the best for your children, but aren’t you also harboring this wish to brag about their good schools, excellent jobs and their great success to others? Those woodpeckers give their best effort and affection for their babies, but they don’t even get to have the chance to say goodbyes. We should just love our children, as they do. Since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

 

I wish I could conclude today’s sermon with assurances that “all relationships will be restored and all our hurts will be healed, if only we love one another”, but the reality is that it is very difficult to have a perfect love. There is a book with the title of “How to love without getting hurt”, which implies that if one loves, one will get hurt. So, we have to make up our minds about love. Are we afraid of getting hurt by loving others or hurting others with our love? The Bible gives us a clear answer; “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love” (1 John 4:18). If we are afraid to get hurt by our love, we will not be able to love others, and we will be saddled with extreme loneliness and more frustrations. Let us not be fearful of loving others. By trying hard to love wisely, we will succeed in our love. Our Father in heaven will give us help, guide us in our clumsy love, and raise us up when we fall down. He will heal our wounds, put bandages on them and then hold us in His bosom with comforting words when we cry. Trusting God, let us love one another. Be courageous in our love. Let’s just love! “Dear friends, let us love one another … Since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.”


   

총 게시물 511건, 최근 2 건
번호 설교일              제목 본문말씀 설교자
511 2018.11.18  Where do you find your happiness? Matthew 13:44 Rev. Kyung Lim Shin
510 2018.11.18  행복은 어디에 마태 복음 13:44 신경림 목사
509 2018.11.11  The Forgotten Identity John 1:14 Rev. Kyung Lim Shin
508 2018.11.11  잊혀진 정체성 요한 복음 1:14 신경림 목사
507 2018.11.04  'After reaching the mature age of 40' 2 Kings 2:1-14 Rev. Kyung Lim Shin
506 2018.11.04  마흔 즈음에 왕하 2:1-14 신경림 목사
505 2018.10.28  Reformation Sunday Matthew 11:29-30, Ephesians 2:8 Rev. Dr. McAllister-Wilson
504 10.21.2018  The testimonies of our lay people James 1:12 3 Lay people
503 10.21.2018  평신도주일 간증 야고보서 1:12 평신도 3인
502 2018.10.14  Plan G!! Matthew 16:21-27 Rev. Kyung Lim Shin
501 2018.10.14  Plan G!! 마태복음 16:21-27 신경림 목사
500 2018.10.07  'Must be born again to enter the kingdom of God' John 3:1-8 Rev. Se Jin Bae
499 2018.10.07  거듭남과 하나님 나라 요한 복음 3:1-8 배세진 목사
498 2018.09.30  'The Actively Working Faith' Luke 24:13-27 Rev. Sun Hyung Jo
497 2018.09.30  '작동하는 믿음' 누가 복음 24:13-27 조선형 목사
 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  다음  맨끝

제목 : Where do you find your happiness?
설교일 : 2018.11.18
본문말씀 : Matthew 13:44
설교자 : Rev. Kyung Lim Shin
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